BOB SMITH

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I come from a very conservative family and it wasn’t easy telling my parents that I’m gay. 

I made my carefully worded announcement at Thanksgiving. 

I said, “Mom, would you please pass the gravy to a homosexual?” 

She passed it to my father.

BOB SMITH
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Lesbians can afford to be ruthlessly discriminating when picking their sperm donor. In fact, if all women were as selective as lesbians, we’d have evolved into a race of gods by now.