GABRIEL GARCÍA MÁRQUEZ from Memories of My Melancholy Whores
I
discovered that my obsession for having each thing in the right place,
each subject at the right time, each word in the right style, was not
the well-deserved reward of an ordered mind but just the opposite: a
complete system of pretense invented by me to hide the disorder of my
nature. I discovered that I am not disciplined out of virtue but as a
reaction to my negligence, that I appear generous in order to conceal my
meanness, that I pass myself off as prudent because I am evil-minded,
that I am conciliatory in order not to succumb to my repressed rage,
that I am punctual only to hide how little I care about other people’s
time. I learned, in short, that love is not a condition of the spirit
but a sign of the zodiac.
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